Malcolm Owen On June 20, 2002 at 5:20 am

Films of games have never really taken off as an artform. Many would assume it may have something to do with a bad rehashed story, a big name cast acting badly and the promise of bare flesh failing to live to the hype. Others believe that games are bad and the film will be even worse, and shouldn’t be looked at anyway. Either way, here’s our top 5 games films / films of games…

5. Super Mario Bros.
Mario, Nintendo’s greatest character and game series, ruined by a Bob Hoskins film! Although the film had a plot, it wasn’t perfect, but it lasted long enough to keep me slightly entertained while watching this complete and utter drivel that passes for a "family movie", even though I would have more enjoyment in the company of two bricks and an AOL CD.

4. Street Fighter
It is technically a "Beefcake Action Flick", with all the acting talents (!?) of Aussie songstress Kylie Minogue and butch gay icon (or so I am led to believe after seeing his films) Jean-Claude Van Damme. Containing a cheesy storyline and a lot of fighting, it boils down to being an action flick with a big licence. Bastards.

3. Tomb Raider
Angelina Jolie, pretending to be a big breasted superwoman. The only reason people actually watched the film for was to see HER wearing as much Lycra as possible. (Which, I might add, is not necessarily a bad thing!)
The only person in my opinion who makes the movie work is the extremely underused Chris Barrie, who played the butler. Most of you won’t know that he’s famed for playing the hologram "Rimmer" in Red Dwarf. He brings a Rimmer-ish style to the role, and hopefully he will be more involved in the future with a sequel.

2. Mortal Kombat
Poor excuse for a movie, and is almost identical to Street Fighter in terms of content (aka little or no storyline, lots of fighting), but there is one minor difference: The fact that it does it well! Even though most cast member’s names fail to come to mind, Christopher Lambert sticks there, and he leads the cast well.
The film may be one long fight sequence, but the cast know this, and they make sure that the threadlike story exists, something that Street Fighter should have done.

1. Final Fantasy
If you look at the plot, you would expect it to be a generic, quickly hashed up action flick. "Scientists defy military in attempt to save world from alien ghosts, while the heroine is in peril" is the only way I can sum up the story without sounding pedantic or giving too much away to those who haven’t seen it. From that description, you will already have the thought in your mind that there is no point even looking at the film, but indeed there is!
It’s the first film where all the characters are modelled entirely in the machine with absolutely no textures taken from the outside world, only artists drawing on a PC. That is an achievement in itself, but there’s more. It’s an attempt at making a serious film on computer. This isn’t Shrek or Toy Story. This isn’t a bunch of jokes rolled together to make a kid’s comedy. This is a bunch of people trying to save the world while avoiding getting killed! You don’t have this drama in Toy Story, you don’t have the suspense of this in Shrek. This is damn good for a serious CG movie!
Oh, and Aki looks good to. Possibly better than Ms Jolie (see below) but most of you won’t care. Damn you people! Why didn’t you go and watch this film!?! WHY!?

[Anime is not looked into here. I know there was an anime of Street Fighter, Sonic, Tekken and others, but since the mainstream culture that we all have to live in only knows about Hollywood films, the anime counterparts will be looked at in another article. Sorry.]
[Oh, and by the way, Resident Evil doesn’t count. RE is a survival horror game, made to be as if it’s a movie. The transition to the movies was easy, and thus because the producers didn’t try hard enough to change it, it’s not here. If you don’t like it, complain elsewhere…]

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