Malcolm Owen On August 17, 2002 at 8:40 am

Want to play against some people but don’t have any friends to play against? Netwars could be the answer. I asked them the usual 10 Questions….

1. For those who don’t know, what is Netwars all about?
NetWars is a touring show, which combines computer networked games with live entertainment. The basic idea is this. Four people at a time are taken from the audience and play against each other in, mainly racing or combat type games. Meanwhile the rest of the audience shout and scream for who they want to win, or sometimes even who they want to lose.
"NetWars is the only place you can shoot friends and family for fun and prizes!"

2. Who thought up the idea of Netwars, and what inspired them?
We could tell a misty eyed story of long hot summers and childhood heroes, but here’s the real story.
Two fat northern blokes sat drinking in a bar, One of them (Dave Bruff), says to the other (Mick Mc), wouldn’t it be a good idea if…, the rest as they say is three years of stress management, trapped fingers and Prozac.

3. What song lyrics best describes the average Netwars time…?
From Breathe by The Prodigy

Breathe the pressure
Come play my game I’ll test ya
Psycho-somatic addict insane

Come play my game
Inhale, inhale, you’re the victim
Come play my game
Exhale, exhale, exhale

No idea what it means but it sounds cool and seems to fit.

4. What kind of High-Tech wizardry is going on in the background at these events?
Six PC’s or Consoles (any sort we’re not fussy) on a LAN doing various jobs as Servers, Clients and scoreboards. Big PA pumping Game Sound, Music & Commentary to the masses. Loads of lights and many other expensive looking boxes, wires and gadgets. All lovingly attended to by Mick Mc, our resident Tech bloke.

5. I take it that because you are travelling around the UK with Netwars, you must have seen some sights…
Many, many splendid sights in fact, especially Kylie and Brittany tribute shows, after all "there’s a lot to be said for small pants", eh?.
Although there’s that poor young woman from Bradford who managed to walk in on Dave, the fat compere, whilst he was changing. He was adjusting the old wedding tackle as you do and stood only in his socks and pants. A traumatic episode for all concerned, we wish the young lady long life and a speedy recovery.

Clearly there are two sides to the small pants argument.

6. Who have you got to play the games so far?
Dean from ‘Big Brother’ had a go; We’ve had Darth Vader winning a fluffy chicken, (very bizarre) . Wheatus and their road crew have had a knockabout on the games, and not forgetting Chesney Hawkes, Dave says sorry about eating all your custard creams Chesney, we owe you.

7. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened during an event?
The gig where one of the comperes, who shall remain nameless; no, no, lets face it, it was Morty (A large Welsh Wookie of a man), helped a Blind contestant off the stage and walked him headlong into a large metal post.

8. Why? (You do not have to answer this about Question 7)
Ah, why? the eternal question…, oft aired by a bleary eyed crew over a fried breakfast in the early dawn mists of a new day, certain only in the knowledge, that, the Welshman is bound to be involved.

9. What games do you completely avoid being played at the events?
A NetWars event is intended to be high energy and is mainly driven by fierce competition, so any games we play need to be short, sweet and full of action. Hence not much room for strategy, rpg, or sim games I’m afraid.

10. Any final words to the readers?
The main thing to point out about NetWars is that it isn’t necessarily for serious gamers. We’ve made every effort to make the games we play as accessible as possible to anyone, male or female, drunk or sober who want to take part. Simplified controls mean even first time game players can, and do, win on NetWars. The whole idea is that people can have as much fun watching the games as playing them.

From the drunken fragfest of a student ball to the sharp suits and champagne of trade shows and glitzy film prems.

"NetWars, It is BIG, It is CLEVER and above all it’ll make you look COOL".

You can find out more at

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